Tips For Beginners

If Possible, Organise It As A Group Activity.

If You And Your Partner Come To The Realisation That You’re Ready To Take The Relationship To New Heights, You May Even Consider Bringing In A Third Party. As Long As Your Spouse Is On Board, A Neutral Third Person Whose Limits Better Match Yours May Guarantee That You All Have Pleasant Encounters.

In The Event That They Aren’t, Attempt To Chat To Your Spouse About What They Could Be Able To Try At Least Once With You, In Order To Discover Their True Feelings. Even If Your Spouse Isn’t Open To Trying Out Your Dreams, Richmond Says That Couples Often Agree That “When There’s One Person Who Wants To Do More, They Will Go To A Sex Party Or A Dungeon.” The Situation Is Really Far Less Dreadful Than It Seems To Be.

Make A Note Of It.

Christian Grey And Anastasia Had An Agreement In Writing, Don’t You Recall? It Wasn’t A Bad Idea At All. Even If You’re Married Or Just Dating, It’s A Good Idea To Create A Contract Outlining What You And Your Partner Agree To Discuss As Part Of The Bdsm Process.

Richmond Suggests Making A List Of Your Partner’s Limits So You’ll Have Something To Look To When You Need A Reminder Of Them. As You Get More Familiar With Bdsm, You May Revisit Your Contract, Renegotiate, And Alter It To Suit Your Needs. The Fact That It Raises Anticipation For What’s To Come Makes It A Positive Experience, Rather Than Something Odd Or Transactional (Emphasis On Come).

Decide On A Position.

In Richmond’s View, Selecting The Right Place To Carry Out The Act Is An Important Part Of The Game Plan. That May Be A Hotel Room On Your Next Trip, A Sex Room Intended For Power Play, Or Even Simply Your Own Boring Bedroom. What Matters Is Whether Or Not It’s A Location You Feel Comfortable In.

Make Up A Term That’s Safe.

Decide On An Appropriate Term To Use In The Event That Things Get Out Of Hand And You Or Your Spouse Breach A Line That You Didn’t Foresee. Richmond Recommends Using A Word Like “Milkshake” Or “Turtleneck” That You Wouldn’t Typically Use In The Privacy Of Your Own Bedroom.

Everything Should Come To A Halt As Soon As The Safe Word Is Heard Or Said. As Soon As It Becomes Evident That Things Have Gone Too Far, It’s Game Over For Everyone Participating In Bdsm. According To Richmond, You Should Ask Your Spouse If They’re Ok, Remain By Their Side Until They’ve Conveyed What It Was That Called For The Safe Word And Then Ask Them What They’ll Need From Here On Out.

Make Sure You’re Protected Emotionally As Well.

As A Result, You Should Inquire As To Whether Or Not Your Spouse Is At Ease. In This Case, She Suggests Using Nonverbal Cues To Convey Your Appreciation Of The Scenario. “A Simple ‘are You Okay?’ May Sufficient. Using Two Gentle Touches To Tell Your Significant Other That You’re Feeling Good Is One Example Of This. For Your Own Peace Of Mind, O’reilly Advises That You Make Sure Your Partner’s Physical Well-Being Is Being Taken Care Of. Check The Skin Beneath The Bondage Apparatus If They’re Tied Up To Make Sure Their Circulation Isn’t Impeded.” Your Child May Be Unable To Bear The Strain Of Being Spanked, So You’ll Want To Keep An Eye On Them.

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